Shift into Self Healing Thoughts

I carried extra weight as a kid. This was the early ’80s—long before body positivity was a thing. I wasn’t obese but I wasn’t thin. At 10 years old, my parents got me a personal trainer. His name was Bob. Nice guy. I don’t remember much from that age, but I remember Bob’s face. I remember being told I needed to be healthier.   Maybe I had a slow metabolism. Lately, I’ve been thinking about the story I told myself around that. What does it really mean to be healthy? And what would have better served 10-year-old me? My parents were doing the best they could, and at 49, I’m grateful for a lifetime of movement. But the shame around my weight lingered for years. Ok, fine—it still sneaks up on me sometimes and lord knows I’ve held onto that metabolism story. It sort of fits. Healthy. Heal-thy. I wonder how things might have been different if, instead of a personal trainer, I’d had someone who was curious—someone who asked  why  I was eating my weight in cheese and sneaking cook...

I was listening to a podcast recently, and the host shared a metaphor about weathering life’s storms. They described it as being a rock in a tumultuous river—letting the twigs hit you, letting the water swirl around you, but staying steady. It captured me at first, you know I love a good metaphor. But then my next thought was… how boring. A rock? Being the victim in our life’s story, now that’s dramatic. There’s an allure to the chaos it brings—a sense of justification, even. Who doesn’t love a compelling arc in their narrative? It pulls you in, but ultimately, it spits you out. Living as the victim will never serve you. Sure, it feels right and just sometimes, but eventually, we all come to realize that even those who’ve hurt us were just doing the best they could—just as we are. This doesn’t diminish the reality of pain, trauma, or suffering. These are true, valid, and inevitable parts of life. The absolute power lies in what we do with them—how we transmute and transform our sufferi...

  We are not on a path to “becoming” but rather removing all the masks, layers, and roles that keep us from our truest essence - love. When we strip these away, thin veil by thin veil, what is revealed is often found in the whispers of our intuition. In those naked, quiet moments, we hear the call for something wise, something deeper. This longing isn’t for the external but for an awakening within—a return to wholeness. We chase success and security, only to realize it’s the intangible we truly crave: a sense of belonging and connection to ourselves and the natural world. The answers emerge in the seeking itself. Each step reveals the essence of who we are. As Dr. Tom Pinkson beautifully reminds us, “You are a sacred, worthy, luminous being. You are love, and your love is for giving.” It's not about acquiring skills or knowledge; it has nothing to do with doing and everything to do with being, it’s about reconnecting with our true selves. Intuition comes from a deep understanding o...

I was listening to a podcast recently, and the host shared a metaphor about weathering life’s storms. They described it as being a rock in a tumultuous river—letting the twigs hit you, letting the water swirl around you, but staying steady. It captured me at first,  you know I love a good metaphor. But then my next thought was… how boring. A rock? Being the victim in our life’s story, now that’s dramatic. There’s an allure to the chaos it brings—a sense of justification, even. Who doesn’t love a compelling arc in their narrative? It pulls you in, but ultimately, it spits you out. Living as the victim will never serve you. Sure, it feels right and just sometimes, but eventually, we all come to realize that even those who’ve hurt us were just doing the best they could—just as we are. This doesn’t diminish the reality of pain, trauma, or suffering. These are true, valid, and inevitable parts of life. But the absolute power lies in what we do with them—how we transmute and transform ou...

  My dad, having experienced profound trauma in his own childhood, unfortunately, directed some of that pain toward us. The apology he shared made me reflect on the concept of relationships as a cycle of reciprocity, rupture, and repair. Even Dr. Becky Kennedy's recent Ted Talk on repairing relationships with children resonated, highlighting that this crucial step applies to all our relationships. "The holidays, a beautiful time for togetherness, can also present both opportunities and challenges to put our hard healing work to the test." Recently, my dad sent an email to my siblings and me, offering a sincere apology for the times he took out his anger on us during our childhood. It opened up a flood of memories, reminding me of the challenging times we faced at home. My dad's journey through trauma has given him invaluable wisdom, emphasizing the significance of repair. His acknowledgment of the past, which we were previously discouraged from discussing, brought a o...

Recently, I had an incredible conversation with a dear friend who was struggling with the difficult decision of medicating her child for a mental health diagnosis.  I've had this conversation before with a lot of friends; I've been there myself. This is a woman who has bucked some serious conventional norms. I'd describe her as a cultural disruptor. We talked about this being an *opportunity* to challenge the conventional cultural programming around mental health and our kids. We wouldn't hesitate to give our kids insulin for a diabetes diagnosis but medicating our kids for mental health conditions feels really scary.   Stigma around mental health is still a very real thing. A disruptor will confront that belief every time.  Sometimes we must challenge our programming in order to maximize greater good, push into new territory, and chart new paths. A disruptor is   a  powerful  force for positive change that challenges conventional wisdom, breaks down barrie...

These thoughts two really distinct but related thoughts keep bouncing around my mind and I wanted to share them with you: “Our reality is based on a perception of a perception” (we create a reality based on what we * think * others think of us). AND “Most folks don’t feel great about themselves” Jay Shetty suggests that our reality is constructed upon layers of perceived perceptions , which might initially sound perplexing. Essentially, it means we view ourselves through the lens of how we believe others perceive us. For instance, if we think Susie sees us as good, we tend to believe we are good, and vice versa. This phenomenon is common in my therapeutic practice, where many individuals struggle with negative self-perceptions, feeling unworthy or unlovable – believing that others see them that way.  Most folks don't feel great about themselves. This preoccupation with others' opinions often leads to unnecessary suffering, manifesting as anxiety, insomnia, people-pleasing, and ...