I remember sitting in my therapist’s office in 2017, shoulders shaking, sobbing so hard I could barely breathe. Words refused to form; every attempt at a sentence collapsed back into silence. It was, in truth, just a very expensive cry session.

My therapist watched me for a moment before saying, gently but firmly: “It won’t always feel like this.”

I was stunned. What? Of course it would, I thought. How could she possibly know? Did she even do this for a living?

But she was right. That simple, steady phrase has stayed with me through every peak and valley since. To be honest, I never remember it during the highs. In those moments, I’m like Ken in the Barbie movie before he discovers patriarchy: sweet, naive, and blissfully unaware that the weather ever changes.

But in the lows, I cling to those words like a life raft. When the water rises, they remind me that the storm is a seasoned traveler—it's just passing through.

Feelings are temporary. Life is change. What feels unbearable today will eventually soften and shift, making room for something new. I’m not sure that time necessarily heals, but it certainly stretches the distance between the “thing that happened” and your perspective of it. Sometimes that softening requires a total surrender, and that’s okay.

As we navigate these first days of January, firm in our resolutions and "new year" pressures, perhaps we can resolve to surrender instead. Let the big feelings come, and then let them go.

For better or worse, it won’t always feel like this.