A loved one recently gifted me a card with a simple yet profound message: “Let our relationship be a work of art rather than a map. Let us enjoy the creation, not the destination.” It struck me—every relationship, or exchange even, begins as a blank canvas, untouched and brimming with possibility. As we really get to know people, we add color, texture, depth. The people in our lives emerge—vibrant, complex, whole.

Yet too often, we grow impatient, trying to predict the final image before the masterpiece has even taken shape. We grasp for a map, seeking certainty, structure. We want our relationship to end in marriage, we want our children in the best schools, a checklist of expectations rather than the wild beauty of discovery. We project our lived experiences, what we’ve been taught, what we think we “know” onto the person.

I was raised Catholic and I remember the golden rule of “do unto others as you’ve had done to you” really resonating with me. I wonder if we’ve misinterpreted that scripture this whole time. Maybe the message was - you will always be doing unto others or placing on to others - that what has been placed on to you. Maybe the golden rule is a actually a resounding prompt about classic projection.

In any case, the card was a powerful reminder: relationships are not fixed paths; they are living, breathing works of art.

What if we embraced the role of the artist rather than the architect? What if we surrendered control and allowed love, family, and friendship to reveal their own unexpected strokes? With our children, our partners, our friends—what might we create if we let them show us who they are rather than imposing an image upon them?

Let us paint freely, love curiously, and witness the unfolding art of human connection.